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Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Life With a Rainbow Baby

My rainbow baby is 19 months old! I can't believe it! It all still amazes me and time has gone by so fast. She amazes me. Her perfect intestines and bowel movements still move my heart after our 32 week sonogram/ MRI scare. Thank you God! It has been a blessing and privilege to be her Mama, to change her poopy diapers and nurse her for 18+ months, no bottles! Absolutely healing and I am forever grateful.

I tell my husband she is like, "Aquaphor," healing balm, good for my soul. He gives beauty for ashes. The wounds are still there in my heart, mind and soul but they have been soothed in an incredible way by having, holding, wearing, nursing, caring for, loving and nurturing a rainbow baby. Healing is a process and I am so glad a rainbow baby has been part of my process. She brings a joy to our home, lifts a sadness and squelches a paralyzing fear that at times engulfed us. She brings sheer delight to her big sister which moves us to tears of joy!

I have not blogged about her birth as it was just so overwhelming and precious (birth video to come). I also really haven't blogged over the last 19 months, I was soaking it all in and thoroughly enjoying her presence in our home and in our lives. Partaking again in baby playgroups, mommy and me exercise classes, stroller walks, story-time, things I was not sure I would ever get to do again. I do want to share my testimony with others, proclaim the good news of the gospel and I still owe two friends in ministry my written testimony which is hard for me to summarize.

If I Told You My Story... NaPro Help...

If I told you my story I would want you to see, hear, feel God, faith, hope and love.

Big Daddy Weave has a beautiful song you might have heard on Christian radio titled, "My Story." This song makes me think about what people would feel and hear if I told them my story/ my journey through unexplained repeat pregnancy loss followed by a sixth pregnancy and rainbow baby. 

I would want them to see faithfulness to God amidst pain and suffering. Prayer. Hope for a better future. A love for all my children from the moment of their conception. God with us. Obedience to the teachings of the Catholic Church, I know that last one is heavy and I rarely discuss with many. I do believe in the teachings of the Holy Catholic Church, The Magisterium, and I clung to the teachings during our journey. These teachings are absolutely beautiful and counter cultural, like Christ, so sometimes I felt like an oddball following them in certain social settings. Nonetheless I am so grateful I obeyed, stayed the course and remained faithful.

If you are a Catholic having a hard time getting pregnant or dealing with unexplained losses I highly recommend seeing a NaPro Technology OBGYN. All are welcomed by NaPro Doctors but I especially recommend if you are a Catholic as this is a Natural Procreative medical practice in line with the teachings of the Church for dealing with fertility.

 List of: NaPro Technology Doctors and Creighton Model System Consultants 

Thursday, July 21, 2016

I Remember You

I remember buying the pregnancy test that first told me about you. I was with your Daddy and it dark outside, after dinner. I remember going to the bathroom and laying the test on the countertop anxiously awaiting the result as we had been trying to conceive you for a few months. I remember falling on my knees thanking God that the test said you were here, with us, in my womb, we were pregnant with you, our second baby! I remember calling my Mom, your Abuelita, to tell her we were expecting your arrival right before her 61st Birthday. Abuelita was so happy and excited for us and Big Sister Sofia. 

I remember Daddy parking the car one night and me putting my right foot on to the ground and thinking to myself to watch my step and be careful as I was carrying you. I remember Daddy buying a bunch of ice cream at Baskin Robbins to co-celebrate and announce your existence to his side of the family. We were in Austin, your aunt was expecting too and your unborn cousin was just a few weeks older than you. I remember eating my favorite ice cream to celebrate your life, chocolate peanut butter! I think you must have liked it too. ;) I remember feeling nauseous the next morning over the hotel breakfast. I remember telling Big Sister Sofia you were in my belly. She paused for a moment and then went back to playing. She was so young, just 2 years and 2 months old so I don't think she really understood. I remember being so happy and so excited to be pregnant with you. I remember praying for you. I remember Daddy laying his hand on my belly praying for you, for us. I remember daydreaming about you, your gender, your looks, your personality, your relationship with your Big Sister Sofia and looking forward to meeting you face to face in July 2013. I remember you. 

I remember waking up before sunrise to the sudden out of nowhere warm-heat filled feeling that I was losing you. I remember waking Daddy up immediately telling him I thought I was losing you. I remember Daddy screaming, "No! No! No!" for that is how much he loved/ loves you and wanted you here with us, on earth, in our home, with our family. I remember being shocked. I remember grief overcoming every inch of my being as I did not want to say goodbye to you. I just wanted to love on you, grow you in my womb, nourish you in and out of my womb, mother you. Now I have to do what I can from afar. I can still love you, still remember you, still celebrate you, your existence, your short life on earth in my womb and your eternal life in Heaven. I can ask you to intercede in prayer for me, Daddy and your Sisters, Sofia and Little Sister Maria. You would be 3 years old today and I sometimes stop and image your presence in our home, in our lives, with your sisters. I imagine more fun, more joy, more love, more noise, more work, less sleep, a bigger car and a lot more caffeine... I will celebrate YOU, Baby Sam, over cupcakes tonight with three candles. I remember you and I love you! 

Monday, May 23, 2016

My Favorite Baby Items This Time Around

I totally need to update my blog with Baby Girl Macias' birth and our first 3+ months but in the meantime a short fun post on my favorite baby items this time around. 😊

1. Honest Wipes
Holy cow! I love these wipes! Rick does too! They are so different from any wipes we have ever tried. They just feel good on your fingers/ hands as you wipe baby and they get the job done well. 😉 Try them! By far our most favorite wipes ever!!

2. The Boba 4G Carrier
I wish I had used this with our firstborn. Life changing! Both Rick and I use it when shopping, at Church, while exercising, etc.. I love that baby girl can hear our heartbeat and be all warm and snuggly while we are multitasking. 

3. Halo Sleeveless Sleepsacks
Baby girl loves these warm fleece sleep sacks. I love that she can access her precious little hands for comfort whenever she wants. Our rainbow was born with a sucking blistering on her wrist/ lower arm. Sweet girl was sucking hard in the womb! It's natural! We used the newborn Swaddle and are now on to the size small Sleepsack. 

4. Rompers and Bubbles 
One piece outfits. Being that our rainbow was born in the Winter I loved footed zip ups for sleeping and for "playing" in cold weather. Now that it is warm I am all about the romper or bubble. Two piece outfits or dresses with panties can be adorable but rompers and bubbles are so fast and easy when we've got places to go plus it covers baby's belly at all times. 

5. The B.F.F. Diaper Bag by Ju-Ju-Be
I have Rick to thank for this find as he helped me research the heck out of diaper bags. 😉 The name does not lie, this bag will become your best-friend. I love the front mommy pocket, memory foam backpack straps, memory foam changing pad, structured bottom with luggage feet, antibacterial lining, crumb drains and that it is machine washable!!