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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Another "Missed Miscarriage" Today

We went from high HCG, unusually high Progesterone, possibly twins, two gestational sacs or one gestational sac and one subchorinoic hematoma at 5 weeks 4 days.

to...

HCG not doubling as fast as it should, Progesterone dropping, only one empty sac still measuring 5 weeks 4 days at 8 weeks since my Last Menstrual Period.

Theories include, a "blighted ovum" or "vanishing twins" in either case another "missed miscarriage" because my body is still acting very much pregnant and not a spec of blood has been shed.

WTF!?!? 
How do we grieve this pregnancy?
Were two, one or zero souls/ babies created in my womb during this my fourth pregnancy?
Will I bleed?
When will I bleed?
Or will my body reabsorb the remaining gestational sac?
Will it vanish like the other sac did?
Why do we keep getting pregnant if our babies are just going to die? We've been pregnant four times in less than 3.5 years.
Why does God allow us to even get pregnant? Especially this time on our very first try post surgery in Florida where we conceived our precious living breathing Sofia.

We really thought this baby/ these babies were going to be our Rainbow Babies.

6 comments:

  1. Sweet friend, I am so sorry for your struggle. I'm miscarrying a blighted ovum right now so I better understand at least a bit of what you've been walking through. Will be praying for you both, your hearts and your health. *hugs*

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    1. Oh Sabrina! :( Hugs to you too! If we lived in the same State I would say let's meetup cry, hug, eat, drink and chat.

      This is crazy that we are both going through this right now because yesterday at lunch I totally thought of you. I was sitting next to these two college girls who were talking about their walk with the Lord, working in ministry, they both were going to school in the South and they prayed before they ate and you and our friendship in Atlanta/ Clemson just suddenly came to mind.

      We will pray for y'all as this just suxs. Please keep me posted on your journey. I don't know what to expect this time around. If I am going to bleed or just absorb the sac. It's just all so strange. I would have been eight weeks today. How about you?

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  2. Nelly, I was so sad to hear about your missed miscarriage. You & Rick are in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Angela Salrin

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